On average children need 9 positives to outweigh any 1 negative. I know this from first-hand experience coaching young boys in Rugby from the age of 6 to 13. We used the technique of only building strengths. Lucky for us, Rugby Union has a position for any lad however small, short, fast, slow, lumbering they were. We never criticised, or fed back what they weren’t doing, just positives.
And it worked.
As adults we need 5 positives to outweigh a negative. In some cultures this requires many more particularly in the Far East where “saving face” is a vital component of civilisation.
We’ve all heard of the sandwich feedback. Positive, then constructive, then positive.
Try this new burger instead if you want to use the sandwich method. Make sure you give dollops of praise:
