It’s your fault, it’s your thought – controlling our negative self talk

Mondays are always hectic especially the morning routine when you just seem to be late for everything. It was freezing cold that November morning and still pitch black outside when I learnt Bethan was having an inset day and wasn’t going to school. So I became a baby sitter for my ten year old daughter, although I had stacks to do that day.

Bethan had the run of the house for the whole day. TV whenever she wanted it, laptops to play on, fridge was all hers and her two arch enemies – her two older brothers – were safely locked away in school.  So I kept my office door open and listened out for her whenever I could.  But she was fine.

My day was going very much to plan and the next item on my to do list was a run. I try to go for a run every day or so for 45 minutes, and since I was going to be working away for a few days this was to be the last run for a few days so I really wanted to do it today.

How could I leave my daughter on her own at home? But my urge to run got the better of me, besides I run along the fields around my house so I was always available and I thought I’d take my phone just in case  She’d be fine.

I promised Bethan I wouldn’t be long and headed off for my run down the lane alongside the house, and turned right across a field right opposite my house.  At the bottom of the field I normally stop to do a stretch or two on my aging muscles. From here I can clearly see the house.  I looked up and saw, from a distance, Bethan at the front door, waiving at me.

Or was she waiving for me to return.  Was she in trouble?  Was she frightened and wanting me to come back home?  Thoughts rushed through my mind.  What have I done, poor Bethan she’s in danger, what a terrible daddy I am. I must rush back and rescue her.  So I sprinted as fast as my legs would take me.

Gasping for breath at the door I shouted to see if she was OK.  “Of course I’m ok Daddy, I was just waving at you.”

“But I though you were in trouble so I came rushing back to see”

“Daddy, it’s your fault,” said Bethan, “It’s your thought”

Later that day on my second attempt at a run, those words resonated with me.  Bethan was spot on.  It was totally my fault that I thought that way, I’m in control of my thoughts, no one else and I chose to think that she was in danger when she was harmlessly waving at me.

You see, we are in control of our thoughts, whether we realise it or not, so next time you’re having negative destructive thoughts that serve no purpose, stop yourself, chuck them out, and control your thinking.

Now before you go to phone Child Line to report me, at least I did worry about her, before my run, and I did sprint back to rescue her.