The one word in the English language with the most detrimental effect is “but”. The word “but” puts too much emphasis on what follows. It has its purpose but we use it incorrectly.
Your intention was sound but….
Here comes the put down, the critique.
We know this instinctively; we hold our breath ready for the next sentence. Our defences engage and we prepare for an equal response.
The trick is to remove the “but” and replace with “and”. This disarms the receiver for the remainder of the sentence and allows a neutral delivery.
So, next time you hear yourself using “but”, stop, pause and replace with “and” you’ll be amazed as to the response.
However, there is a place for “but”.
But there’s more
- Use “want to” instead of “have to”
- Use “won’t” instead of “can’t”
- Use “I’d like to” instead of “I’m afraid to”.
Catch you next week, but have a great one first. But if you don’t it’s your volition.